The Contrivancy is a Nocker society in the Kingdom of Alba.
Overview[]
King Niall's brain trust is located down near the docks in an old herring factory. The Contrivancy is filled with boilers, tongs, hammers, industrial lathes, and anvils, all of which make a fine row, pleasing to the hordes of nockers working there. The sidhe knights of House Dougal act as guards, wardens, and crisis intervention specialists. The guards' main responsibility is to make sure that no foreign power attempts to steal the Contrivancy's secrets or to kidnap its nockers. The knights also have to be called out when one of the experiments goes awry. Their most dreaded task lands them in the middle of various union squabbles, as the arbiters of the endless claims of "That bugger stole my chimerical hydra-spanner!"
A Tale of the Contrivancy[]
I once had the unfortunate honor to test out one of the Contrivancy's new weapons. Once. Now, the nocker who vomited this hellspawn device out of his pointy noggin made two mistakes. The first was not to tell me I had to show up sober, and the second was to get a sidhe for the other test dummy. I figured I was gonna get shot with somethin' or be having to eat me way out of some supposedly indestructible cave or such. I never figured upon the Virtual Myrmidon.
The collection of industrial tools collected at the Contrivancy only improved my mood as Dr. Pinhead, the nocker, strapped me into a full-body harness with all kinds of levers, pulleys, wheels, and such poking out every which way. Then he shows me this metal knight.
"You have been hooked up to a machine, much too complicated for you to understand, that transmits your every movement to the Virtual Myrmidon in front of you. You're mission is simple. I want you to spar with Balfor...."
"Lord Balfor!" said the sidhe who stepped out from behind one of the welding curtains.
He sported one of those open-chested poufter shirts. The clown wasn't even wearing armor!
"After I dice captain pansy, do I get paid?" I asked.
The sidhe snorted as Dr. Pinhead continued, "This is a sparring match, Mr. Anguish, I merely want you to dodge Lord Balfor's blows. When he hits you, the Virtual Myrmidon will transmit that information to you via mild electric shocks."
As he completed his prattling, he threw a switch on something called a "dynamo," and I noticed the other nockers began clearing the room.
The first "mild electric shock" rang me bollocks like castanets and singed my short hairs. This wouldnae bothered me so much, but it sobered me up.
The myrmidon had one thing going for it. I grabbed the sidhe with it as Dr. Pinhead turned off the dynamo switch, freezing the sidhe in the myrmidon's arms. Dr. Pinhead didn't have the sense to run after I ate me way out of the machine, so I grabbed him and strapped his squirming body into the harness. I flicked on the dynamo and picked up a lead pipe and headed over to the screaming sidhe and the mechanical soldier.
"Well, Dr. Pinhead and Sir About-to-be-bruised-a-lot, I want to do a little experiment of my own. It's called The Virtual Electrolysis and Sidhe Bludgeoning Machine."
References[]
- CTD. Isle of the Mighty, pp. 103-104.