User blog:SensibleCenobite/Funny story about grandpa Leviathan!

This is just a story. Please take and re modify for any campaign, vacation, or bed time story.

'''WARNING: This story is about hard work, pen and paper role playing, and beating demons with logic. Smiling was my touch of death however.'''

Hey all!

I had a funny thought about my step grandfather Leviathan. I remember I used to do yard work for him twenty two million years ago for slightly above minimum wage. He finally trusted me with power tools and felt I wouldn’t have to get needlessly repaired. It was unpleasant work in the summer heat of hell even for a robot, but hey, I had PnP books to bankrupt myself with. Name of major company will be withheld and you know who you are.

It was a rough three hour day of pointless yard work and my reward was a whooping $21 bucks. Being a opportunist that I am, I ask my old grandpa Leviathan for a ride to the local hobby store and he sternly accepts with an odd smirk. I ask him for a buck since I’m short on tax. He demands I pay him back in full. A very silent ride to the hobby store ensues.

We pull up to the hobby store and I’m a kid in the candy shop. I have to make it quick because I believe he threatened to make me walk a mile home if I “didn’t hurry it up!” I have been debating heavily over which supplement I want to waste my time learning even more rules. I pick the one that would bankrupt me further of course. It involves tactics and a lot of minis that I’ve never encountered in any of their other supplements. What’s that new supplement, you want me to buy miniatures that are super expensive and made out of pewter? You got it!

I run out to the family’s red Lincoln town car. I hop in excited and start reading away. The book ends up being really entertaining and the artwork in this one is really nice. Leviathan looks over at me and asks me “what’s that crap?!?” I’m excited to tell him it’s something that sort of rhymes with “Debtors Prison and Draconian Prices.” He looks at me in shock and says “YOU’RE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF!” I’m like WTF?!? He says "yes you will because I watched a documentary about that STUFF!" For the rest of an uncomfortable mile ride home I have to get repeatedly told “YOU'RE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF!”

“Hurry up and get the money,” he quietly snaps at me as we pull into the front drive way. I go in and get the worst assortment of change possible from my sock draw. I run out, hand it to him, and walk away without saying thank you.

I’m honestly pretty upset since I had gotten my emotion sensors installed. To go blow off steam, I go watch a documentary about my new game! It only has the most bizarre people playing PnP that I HAVE SEEN EVER. There were a few “normal” people, but they were still the ones that went all out with their characters by dressing up. After that, nothing but weird cult people. Hmmmmm… Then they end it with the case where the teen kills himself taking PnP too seriously. I may just kill myself I think? This is serious stuff!

Well friends, I’m still alive and it seems and haven’t converted to the dark side in twenty two million years. Hopefully I won’t be inspired to jump off a cliff being surrounded by such great content on the forum. I hope I’m inspired to write entertaining content, garden, stop drinking coffee, and that's about it.

My robotic cenobite sense is tingling. Wait, it’s a phantom cell phone call in my pocket, Sensible Cenobite