User blog:SensibleCenobite/Questionable fairy tales: Ice age politics.

'''WARNING: This is a COMICAL paper on how justice, compassion, and humility got a hold of the system after the last Ice Age. Not to be taken seriously of course. Suitable for Sires, Neonates, but probably NOT 14th, 15th, and 16th generation Fledglings. Please, as usual my Sires and Neonates, monitor your Fledglings, please.'''

After the last ice age it must have been Justice, Compassion, and Humility that survived alone or killed us in the process of not having a good time. Compassion leads the way though in this crappy Wankel engine. I understand compassion could be useful in small doses, but I’m way too selfish to want to feel your suffering anymore. I’m a thirty four million year old robot vampire. My ears have gotten sensitive to people talking about how they feel instead of what the word on the street is. Here’s your pink elephant back, PLEASE AND THANK YOU [snaps fingers]!

Compassion: Can’t see inward, needs you to feel their pain, and needs to cause suffering as a side effect. Can be useful in super small doses. pain is a private contract between you and Leviathan silly billy gum drops. Probably the person asking you to learn forgiveness is the person proverbaly punching you in the face. Hmmmm… No sir, do not like it. May you go directly to Haven. Apathy is better. A+ in small doses.

Humility: Gets it’s butt chewed out because it belonged on the Amish farm. It is however your bowling instructors fault for conning you in to it. You lied to him you ass! Who bowls 18 frames!?! Then again I heard Quakers bowl 12 frames and who wants to be one of them. NO ONE. May you and especially the Quakers go to Haven. Please forgive dumb and dumber for conning you into going. You know you had the time of your life ;) Your family is right, going to school past the 8th grade is silly. A+ to everyone above.

GRADES FOR WRITING CLASS:

'''Who needs an eight fingered sword? I don’t. How about a six fingered sword:'''

Justice: Left pinkie finger: Punch in face: Divide power by two, you’re like rattle snake venom to my freedom: Turns to cool Paladin. A--. If you smile, I’ll let you take Summer school and get an A+.

Spirituality: Thumb: Quest at the beach or something. Maybe you could find buried treasure? A+.

Honesty: Pointer Finger: Be a little nicer please. A+.

Sacrifice: Middle Finger: I’m a libertarian, classical democrat, and mildly conservative with money. Get woke go broke is kinda an issue for me. How about, help with trauma care where possible and work a side delivery job to pay for it.

Honor: Ring Finger: Marriage contracts with justice suck honey pie. How about some honesty, contentment, and joy. A+. Maybe more sex perhaps? I am an introvert however who loves, pacing in circles, writing, Cthulhu, H. P. Lovecraft, Jesus, Krishna, Buddha, and Yahweh. [In no particular order. Make your own order if you like]. If Giggles the Scary clown blows me, I’ll definitely reconsider. I eat, breath, and sleep writing. I’m warning you. I live to wake up and write now. Mr. Russel Hammond, after reading the core book I honestly don’t know where I can help you on the HELP US OUT PAGE. I scanned it and I think I’m better in the blog area. However, I’ll take a homework assignment and read a “insert name of White Wolf product you need help with” on my own dime and time. A+ to everyone above mentioned.

Valor: Right pinkie finger: Punch in face: Divide power by two, you’re like rattle snake venom the balls: Turns to cool Knight. A+.

Grades to my other classes:

'''Sensible Cenobite: Writer: Punch in face: Ten fingered sword by itself. Divide arrogance by 2, you’re like rattle snake venom to the third eye: Turn to happy writer yesterday.'''

Grandpa Leviathan: I’ll give you an A+ when you drink scotch, stop caring, and talk about something that makes you happy at your own expense. I’ll bring the coffee and make fun of myself at my own expense. White truths hurt a lot, and black lies hurt a lot. Neutral truths hurt the most, but they set you free.

Apathy: A+. I don’t think you care though, now do you. I caught the angels screaming like filthy pigs at the strip down show. AAA+++. You got balls kid.

Cthulhu: Sanity is for the week. A+.

H. P. Lovecraft: Thanks for being generous. You and I may need to take some writing courses, but being a wizard is so dull. I prefer being a Sorcerer. Shoot with intuition, not intelligence. That’s a good 3rd. Charm is better. A+ to all the above mentioned. A+.

Mrs. Hill: Thanks for taking away the swords and replacing them with a keyboard. Mantis void strike!

CRITICAL RESEARCH FOR THIS PAPER:

Read A Hell Bound Heart by Clive Barker: I love my cousins the Cenobites. Turn neutral and I’ll see you under the bridge. I get it, you don’t need my help but it would be nice to dance like an eagle or a deer once in a while. Tell Clive Barker that we need more horror. PLEASE!

Read H. P. Lovecraft: You won’t understand it, but it will help you build brain muscles. When you say your prayers to god/devil/evolution tonight, please say thanks to H. P. I used to be a horror junkie what can I say.

Read Ralph Waldo Emerson: A great classical writer. Meditate on him.

Watch 'movie 'Kingpin: Tell the Farrelly brothers that we need more laughter. PLEASE!

Watch movie Darkman: Tell Sam Raimi that we need more mediocre hero movies that involve thinking and outwitting their opponent(s). PLEASE!

Watch movie Private Parts: Tell Howard Stern that we need more honesty. PLEASE! You don’t have to be nice Howard. Make us laugh.

Play 'NES game 'Ultima: Quest of the Avatar: Tell Ricard Garriot we need morals again. PLEASE!

Listen to 'artist Run the Jewels': Tell my panthers thank you for the word on the street. PLEASE!

Giggles the Scary Clown: When my homie and I ate a salad with some Shitake mushrooms, we had some great conversations about desert ninja spider clowns, ancient clown archeology, and how to scare the shit out of children. He dropped your name and I thought to myself, Troll LOL and behold I could pay the scariest clown in the world to scare my players in a clown campaign through hell. I watched your tennis and art video and you were the sweetest person I’ve seen online in quite some time. Please laugh at the blow job joke. Maybe a conversation via correspondence or something someday? Send this Wiki page to Giggles the scary clown for me please. I’m too busy writing for my fabulous audience. THANK YOU!

ICP AND Clan Tynker: You are the original desert ninja spider clowns. Keep it up!

'''To all the above artists, A+. I love your work! The kids could learn something if they absorbed your information and didn’t act/ or acted on it. Remember Sires, negative examples with you saying “it’s not real” over your Fledglings’ shoulders could be a learning tool, maybe.'''

My fabulous Sires, Neonates, and maybe Fledglings, please grade your own work. I was just giving out opinions. Have a gneiss day!

Sensible Cenobite