User blog:SensibleCenobite/Clown Hell: A generic role playing session.

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'''WARNING: Suitable for all Sires and Neonates. Probably not suitable for most 'Fledglings.' I got the green light from Clan Tynker Circus to make the post. Rebekah, AKA Whippo the Clown, thinks it's as scary as it gets. I assure all the creatures of the night that there is NOTHING scarier than a clown. Rebekah would know. I would rather get raped publicly on Broadway by a pack of Antediluvians then to see the horror that is an evil desert ninja spider clown’s heart. You have all been warned.  MONITOR YOUR FLEDGLINGS.'''

WARNING: THIS IS FOR STORYTELLERS ONLY!!!

WARNING: THIS IS FOR STORYTELLERS ONLY!!!

WARNING: THIS IS FOR STORYTELLERS ONLY!!!

WARNING: THIS IS FOR STORYTELLERS ONLY!!!

WARNING: THIS IS FOR STORYTELLERS ONLY!!!

WARNING: THIS IS FOR STORYTELLERS ONLY!!!

WARNING: THIS IS FOR STORYTELLERS ONLY!!!

WARNING: THIS IS FOR STORYTELLERS ONLY!!!

WARNING: THIS IS FOR STORYTELLERS ONLY!!!

WARNING: THIS IS FOR STORYTELLERS ONLY!!!

WARNING: THIS IS FOR STORYTELLERS ONLY!!!

WARNING: THIS IS FOR STORYTELLERS ONLY!!!

WARNING: THIS IS FOR STORYTELLERS ONLY!!!

Sensible Cenobite, the Changling Community, Giggles McFarnsworth, and Clan Tynker Present: A Trip to Clown Hell: Generic one off campaign session. Use on Players that can’t take a session seriously and keep making you laugh.

Main Protagonists: Make your own Character(s) from any game system.

Obstacle to enter Hell: ​​​​​​ The Coterie is summoned to clown Hell by going on a "historical clown archaeology ride". As you descend deeper you will see ancient clown hieroglyphs drawn in childish Crayola crayon showing kids crying being entertained by a clown. Old balloon animals made from intestines and other body parts. Portraits of old serial killer clowns of note that will pop out and try to attack the '''Coterie.  For the grand finale, a baby urine and whip cream pie to the face as the massive gates to clown Hell''' open. Give Players one maybe two completely over sized clown tokens for each obstacle completed including the ride the into Hell. Players will need a certain number of tokens earned from doing the below obstacles to get into the Funny Farm and into the Riddle Room at the end of the session.

Obstacle for tokens: It's an awful place. Everyone there seems happy, but they are not. Their smiles are forced and with a good enough perception check let the Characters know. If Coterie can make the Storyteller laugh talking to NPCs, then give them one token max.

Obstacle for tokens: There are used condoms and needles on the beech. Flying clown dolphins patrol the water. Make Characters do searches for tokens and on failure they get hit with a random needle or attacked by a dolphin pod.

Obstacle for tokens: All the soda is flat and filled to the rim with ice and salt. The popcorn explodes rainbow paint out of your mouth. Oh look ,there's a coin at the bottom!

Obstacle for tokens: Every clown on patrol is armed with a boxing glove canon that punches you in the crotch for knockout damage. Anyone that passes out after an attack, wakes up on a ride strapped down and ball gagged. Each clown one coin on them.

Obstacle for tokens: Instead of a net in the bouncing castle, the Characters get trapped in cotton candy webs. The ONLY solution is to eat your way through. Once door to this bouncing castle is open, each Character will have a coin shoved down their pants as they walk out.

Obstacle for tokens: Ring Master the Illusionist : Summons an undead elephant to attack the Coterie. If they defeat it too easily, an illusion of the first is summoned at half hit points and a little extra damage given. Give each Character two coins for this one in an explosion of confetti, sour milk, and elephant dung.

Obstacle for tokens:  The the rides are broken, faulty, or cursed. All the change falls out of your pockets, will injure you in the process, or get you so addicted to it you must keep going on it until you make a WIll check or something similar.

Last Obstacle to be opened with tokens: There is a door shaped like a Javelina clown head leading to the Funny Farm. There is a slot to fit the clown tokens, but be sure to mess with the Coterie. Coins shoot back out and aim for their crotch. A coin might get temporarily jammed [you know jelly]. It might set an alarm off and summon a clown squad with their boxing gloves. Who knows…  Storytellers should be laughing maniacially.

Location: Funny Farm.

Main location and antagonist to get the key to the Riddle Room:

Giggles McFarnsworth : Desert Ninja Spider Clown of the Smoke Circle Bong

Only weakness. Needs your laughter. If the Players laugh at Giggles McFarnsworth’s jokes, then he gets more powerful. Players can still beat him if the they laugh, but will be much harder. He’ll be bouncing around the room laughing while taking damage casting illusions and ninja magic. He's a evil desert ninja spider clown.

To finally leave Hell, the Players must answer one final riddle into a loud speaker. When the Coterie finally answers the riddle correctly, everyone in Hell starts laughing hysterically in unison. They all point at the Coterie directly and mouth the words YOU!

Q:  "Why didn't the zombie eat the desert ninja spirder clown?"

Both are acceptable answers. The bottom one is what my nine year old nephew replied. It wasn’t the answer, but it was funny!

A:  1) It tasted funny.

A:  2) It's a clown.

I hope everyone enjoys their trip to CLOWN HELL! Hire Giggles The Scare Clown in real life to scare the living crap out of the Coterie during the session. Have a third party turn off the lights and walk around the house in a Jason mask or something. Make sure to get carnival music going in the back ground for ambiance. Maybe mix in some goth, industrial, or experimental to the mix,

Sensible Cenobite